<\/p>\n
I have always found the first meeting with a new client to be one of the most difficult. \u00a0It’s a bit like the roller coaster California Screamin’. \u00a0One minute you are sitting still and the next minute you’re racing upward at 60 miles an hour. \u00a0Therapy starts with a question: \u00a0\u201cHow can I be of help?\u201d \u00a0And then suddenly this person I just met 5 minutes ago is telling me, a stranger, \u00a0intimate details of their life. \u00a0People often cry at this first meeting and it always surprises them. \u00a0But never me. \u00a0It’s quite momentous getting to this place of asking for help. \u00a0And this initial session is just the first of many acts of bravery that is required during counseling.<\/p>\n
A second is considering the question, “What is it you desire for your life?” \u00a0Again, people are surprised at how hard it is to answer and even just think about this question. \u00a0But it is essential. \u00a0The question of our desires enables us to understand two things. \u00a0First, we must know what we want to\u00a0know what direction to point our lives. \u00a0Second, knowing the desires of our hearts is the start of understanding what went wrong in our lives. \u00a0No one has ever come to my office and said, “Please, help me understand why I am so happy and fulfilled.” \u00a0People come to see me because something in their life is very broken. \u00a0When life is painful, disappointing, empty and discouraging, healing and restoration require us to back track, to retrace our steps and our choices, to see where things went awry. \u00a0How did I get here? \u00a0Where did this mess start? \u00a0And the beginning is almost always desire. \u00a0Desire for love, for belonging, for affirmation, for meaning, for appreciation, for impact. \u00a0Desire for peace, safety and security. \u00a0So I must ask, again and again: \u00a0What has your heart longed for? \u00a0To spend extended time with this question is not easy and should come as no surprise that I find people quite reluctent to linger here. \u00a0To ask oneself this question, to sit in it and listen to your own heart, is to invite pain, because we all have the pain of unfulfilled desires. \u00a0It’s a fallen world and we were made for paradise. \u00a0Can you see why there is such reluctance to walk down this road?! \u00a0People come to a therapist to get OUT of pain not move deeper into it.<\/p>\n
It is at this point that the desires of our hearts get a bad rap. \u00a0It would be so much easier to shove them back into some corner of our souls and drown them out with activity and numbness. \u00a0Unfortunately that never works. \u00a0In fact, it back fires. \u00a0Our efforts to subvert our desires create their own set of problems (more on this later)<\/em>. \u00a0So, as uncomfortable and even painful as the question can be, it is the only way to get to the root of our problems. \u00a0Problems addressed with symptom removing steps, return with vigor when not dealt with at the root. \u00a0Now, please don\u2019t hear me say that everything that is wrong in your life is the fault of your desires or what you have done with them. \u00a0Oh no … there are many factors that feed depression, anxiety, anger, broken relationships, addiction \u2026 But the only factors that we can change are our own thoughts and actions (more on this later)<\/em>.<\/p>\n This deep look at longings and desires and the ensuing pain is part of why I say therapy is for the brave, not the weak (as some have suggested)<\/em>. \u00a0I often ask my clients to take a few weeks and begin to list every longing, want or desire that comes to mind. \u00a0No censoring. \u00a0When they do this, the list is always illuminating. \u00a0For some though, the task seems impossible, for they are so disconnected from their own heart that they have no idea what they what. \u00a0For them, reconnecting to themselves takes work and time, requiring both bravery and perseverance.<\/p>\n The purposes of a person\u2019s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out. \u00a0<\/em> \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/strong>Proverbs 20:5 (NIV)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have always found the first meeting with a new client to be one of the most difficult. \u00a0It’s a bit like the roller coaster California Screamin’. \u00a0One minute you are sitting still and the next minute you’re racing upward at 60 miles an hour. \u00a0Therapy starts with a question: \u00a0\u201cHow can I be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=78"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/78\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=78"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=78"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/deeperricherfuller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=78"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}