The combination of my personality, strengths and weaknesses and my family’s dysfunction lead me to handle life’s difficulties and disappointments alone.  Independent.  Self reliant, my mom would say.  In truth, it really boiled down to the fact that I did not know how to ask for help.  In fact, the thought of asking for help never occurred to me.  And I have lived through so many difficulties on my own because of it.  I began to step out of this pattern a bit in college, but only out of desperation.  My scholarship required me to maintain a 3.0 GPA and my first semester I turned out the worst set of grades in my life.  I was shocked, school had never been this hard, and terrified, how would I pay for school if lost the scholarship?

Thank God for Father Burns, my religious studies instructor, who gave me some study advise that I used faithfully, beneficially, the rest of my years in school.  And thank You, God, for making that first try at asking for help so easy and fruitful.  It hasn’t always gone that way.  And it still doesn’t always go well.  But, when I remember, for it still doesn’t come to me to ask, and I seek help and help comes, it brings great feelings of love and connectedness.

My daughter was born 4 weeks early and very tiny.  Feeding her was challenging for she would often fall asleep after just a few minutes of nursing.  Her first doctor check up revealed she was not gaining the weight she needed to be.  This set off such a panic in me, as it would most mothers, that again, in desperation, I sought out help.  Thank You, God, for my mom and the women of Trinity Bible Church*, who swooped right in with meals, house cleaning, nursing tips and numerous other acts of kindness.  At the time, I was anxious, exhausted and terrified I would not be able to meet the needs of my precious daughter.  Looking back, I cannot think or write about these first weeks of motherhood without tears of joy.  The faces of these wonderful women who came along side me and got me to a steady place will forever be so very dear.

Surely that is what the Lord was hoping for when He instructed us to “carry each other’s burdens” (Gal 6:2 NIV).  I can’t help but imagine His joy as His daughters came along side the struggling one.  Did He beam pride over each of them?  Did He whisper “thank you” to their hearts?  When these women meet Him face to face one day, will He also relive with joy those acts of kindness and tell them how grateful He was that they cared for me so well?  Yes, yes and yes.

* Olivia, Nannette, Angi, Mary Kay, Paula, Trish, Barb, Sandy …. what angels you were to me.