I will never forget the time, while visiting my aunt, she tossed her 1 year old daughter into the deep end of the swimming pool.  My family, encircling the edge, was stunned. But my aunt was calm and looking back, I see a hint of mischief in her eyes. Of course, she was not doing anything to put my precious cousin at risk. In fact, little Jennifer, had been trained for just this sort of thing. In Arizona, where there are swimming pools in so many back yards, water safety is essential for small children. Even babies.

I wish I could go back and ask Jennifer if she was afraid when she hit the water or if her training had left her confident that breath would return in due time. The look on her face was surprise, eyes wide open the whole time, but she didn’t cry.

I wonder if this is a little bit of what it’s like when God allows or even ordains hard things for us? He knows what’s ahead and He wants to prepare us. He sees all the dangers, all the pitfalls and He wants us ready.  He wants us strong and persevering (James 1:2-4). These are things I have been thinking about for many years. But lately, I’ve noticed something more.  

Parenting my teenagers has been deep waters for me. Seeing them head off to high school, with their freedom and independence, in a culture as messed up as ours, definitely has me feeling like we are all at the bottom of the deep end straining for the surface and some sense that we are safe. I have experienced more attacks of fear since my daughter started her freshman year than at any other time of my life. And that is exactly what it took to compel me to pray – a lot. Like, all the time.

At first all that prayer was simply a desperate cry for protection, guidance and wisdom. All of it wrought with anxiety. But now I’m seeing another purpose in these deep waters, this lack of control. It’s something more than praying praying praying, because no one but God is going to get them through adolescence. For reasons I’m just beginning to comprehend, God wants to work through prayer. It’s His ordained method of partnership. And now, it is the taste of partnering with God, that has me praying. Not fear – though it still shows up often enough. It’s the connection, the communion, the taste of being a part of the Holy. And it has me drawn to pray like never before.

It began at times when I just didn’t know what to pray and I asked:  Abba, how would you have me pray about this?  And, not surprising, Abba had great ideas on what to do about my concerns. More and more, when I’m troubled, I want to know what He’s thinking. And once I get an sense or an idea, I’m like, oh, that’s beautiful LORD. I can’t begin to count how many times He has WOWed me with what came to my mind when I asked Him what to pray. 

I have clients who have said my prayers are their favorite part of our sessions. And not infrequently, when we are about 3/4 into our time together and I realize what is unfolding, I have to interrupt and say, do you remember what I prayed for? Because it’s being answered right then. And I know it wasn’t me. I’m not that good of a therapist. 

Every time it jazzes me. Experiencing God enlisting me to seek His will, has become a wonderful communion with Him. Then I came upon these verses and it became clear to me that God was leading me into this kind of praying.

Therefore he (Jesus) is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them.
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭7:25‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:34‬ ‭NIV‬‬

This brought to mind how Jesus said he only does what he sees His Father doing. And I thought:  He’s praying what the Father shows Him (John 5:19)! I just loved that.

These days, if I’m not feeling the deep waters, I know someone who is and I’m back to praying. And I’m seeing prayers get answered. Often, only in little tiny subtle shifts. But I’m not complaining. I’ve always been a baby-stepper myself when it comes to growth. So if you’re head is barely above the waterline, ask Abba what He wants you to pray and then start praying. Let me know how it goes. 

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash