For both health and spiritual reasons, I have felt for sometime that I need to give up my afternoon cup of coffee. Of course, I don’t want to. Or better said, I don’t want to around 2:30pm. In the morning I’m willing, but by afternoon I’m feeling hungry and uninspired. In the middle of a busy day, this simple pleasure feels like just what I need.
Most of us have things we turn to to brighten up our life: music, coffee, a glass of wine, novels, TV shows, sports and games. We think of them as reprieves, treats, distractions, pick-me-ups, soothers or calmers. Often they are good things, blessings, and we enjoy them. But over time, particularly in difficult moments, we can begin to turn to and lean on these good things. And that’s where the problem begins. When we lean on something other than the Lord, we risk developing an attachment to something that will fail to provide what we truly need.
I had a client once who told me that as a young girl she would daydream when it was time to go to sleep. She was so good at it, creating delightful scenarios in her head, that it became effortless. Often she wasn’t even aware of starting one – it was just there, playing out in her mind as she slipped into bed. Decades later she was having a hard time turning them off. So much so that before her head hit the pillow another one was underway. The problem, in her mind, was that they had become immoral and inappropriate. When she tried to clean them up they didn’t feel as good. When she tried to stop all together she started to feel depressed. Her daydreams had become the highlight of her day. And this bothered her even more, for she deeply loved God and she understood what this said to Him about the life He had given her: “Not good enough. I can do better.”
Like my client, a lot of our attachments begin innocently. It’s been a long day and we want to relax and watch a favorite TV show. Nothing wrong with that (unless it’s The Bachelor). But the next night, weary again, we turn the TV on looking for some easy way to wind down and disconnect from the challenges of the day. And before we recognize what has happened, the TV is our go to place for relaxation, or, maybe just distraction. And that is when our needed break has turned into a soul numbing habit.
I tried making changes to how I consumed my afternoon attachment in hopes of finding a way to keep it. I became more intentional in thanking the Lord for my lovely treat and I tried to use my sipping time to praise and fellowship with Him. Neither God nor I bought it, for it was still so much about the coffee. And though I enjoyed the taste, it was clear it did not give me the lift in my spirit I was looking for. It also became obvious that I relied on this cup of comfort for something it could not consistently deliver. And since the Lord wants me leaning into Him not coffee, yesterday was my last day with an afternoon cup … at least for a while … I’m sensing one on Thanksgiving and one on Christmas would be ok.
I know there will be days when I really want that latte. I also know that anytime we are trying to break a habit, we need to have something else to turn towards instead of what we are giving up. I can genuinely say that I look forward to what the Lord has for me instead coffee – something deeper and richer with Him. I also know that what I feel now, at 6am, will be very different at 2:30pm. I will need to remember that I am seeking something better. I will need the Holy Spirit working in me, renewing me, strengthening me. I feel a little dramatic writing that. How hard can it be to give up a cup of coffee (eye roll)? But I know me and there will be days when it will be a struggle. Or, I will forget all together and the habit of my heart will quite naturally turn to that which I love. Doesn’t the word tell us that where our treasure is, there also our heart (Matt 6:21)? So, I’m not just giving up the afternoon latte, I’m learning to love it less.
There is so much more to say on this topic, so I will continue this discussion next week.
And, hey … can you do me a favor? I recently added a link at the bottom of this page where you can “like” this post. If you “like” it, would you click that link? I have no idea what will happen if you do, but I’m curious to find out.
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