You don’t ask a drowning man
If he wants to be saved
When you know he’s sinking down
Down beneath the crashing waves
Charlie Peacock, Drowning Man
If you’re drowning, you’re not doing too good. You might be drowning because you don’t know how to swim. Or maybe you’ve been in over your head for too long. Whatever the reason, if you’re drowning you’re not thinking clearly. And most likely you’re resources are depleted. You’re also probably terrified. Maybe freaking out. What you need is a rescue. When you’re drowning, that’s really all you need to know. You need a rescue.
You don’t ask a drowning man if he wants to be saved. You just kick off your shoes and dive in. Now be prepared. He might resist. So try to remember: he’s not thinking straight, his resources are depleted and he’s terrified. Maybe freaking out. That’s why he’s drowning. So be kind. Be patient. Bring him some food. Mow her lawn. Babysit their kids. Get him on some dry ground where he can just breathe for a minute.
I hate it when my life is so full and busy I can’t, I don’t, stop for the drowning man, woman, friend, neighbor. Even more, I hate it when I find out a dear friend has been drowning for weeks and I hadn’t a clue.
I will always remember the meal my friend Trish brought our family after my husband’s brother was killed. We were gathered at my mother-in-law’s house with a few cousins, feeling helpless and so very sad. And the food came, so we sat and ate. And then someone told a Mike story. And we laughed. And for a brief moment thinking about him wasn’t so painful. And we all felt very close. Connected.
The first rescue I remember doing was when I was in college. My dear friend Eve was having a really hard time. Life’s disappointments had piled up and she was sinking in depression. I asked her if I could come over and make her a pot of soup. She said yes. And so I went and spent an afternoon making soup and listening. And I watched my friend begin to revive a bit. My pot of soup did not rescue Eve from her depression, but it did show her she was loved and that someone cared. And for that afternoon Eve’s head was above the water and she was able to just breathe.
Drowning Man is a song off of one of my all time favorite albums: Charlie Peacock’s Secret of Time.