What could be more normal and understandable in this fallen world of disappointments and loss than tears?  So, why do so many apologize when they start to cry?  I see this often in my office and I wonder:  how have we been so deceived as to think that being emotional is embarrassing or inappropriate?  In my experience, tears are often a sign of depth, connectedness and love.  In the gospel of Luke there is this very emotional moment where Jesus looks out over Jerusalem with a longing heart and weeps (Luke 19:41-44).  This image of a God who pines for His people like a jilted lover or a heart-broken parent is seen throughout the Old Testament and is a compelling testimony of the kind of love the Creator of the universe has for His children.  You might just say, God wears His heart on His sleeve, a strong indicator of what He thinks of being emotional.

There is a rather lengthy story in chapter 11 of John’s gospel.  In it Jesus receives a message from sisters Martha and Mary that his dear friend Lazarus, their brother, is gravely ill.  Come Jesus, they plead.  But Jesus intentionally waits, ensuring that Lazarus dies before he shows up.  At this point in Jesus’ ministry, it is God’s will to show His great power by raising Lazarus from the dead.   It is clear that this is Jesus’ plan.  And yet, we are told, when he finally comes to the tomb where Lazarus has been laid, He weeps.  The story does not tell us why He is weeping, yet it compels us to ponder the question.  And it seems to me that this is one of those profound moments when we see how Jesus is truly God and truly man.   He knows what comes next, and yet, He is in the moment, connected deeply to his friends.  He cannot, or will not, contain how connected, bonded and “with us” He is, it just spills out – in tears.  It’s no wonder that “with us” is one of Jesus’ names:  Emmanuel.

What is it exactly that tears say about us?  That we are alive to our hearts and feel the hard and beautiful realities of life deeply.  That to me sounds so rich.  So worthy.  And, yes, intimate, revealing and vulnerable.  When we invite people into our inner world with our tears we offer them the gift of connection.  Knowing we all long for connectedness, instead of feeling embarrassed of our tears, shouldn’t we view them as precious?

Now, I must add that because tears are intimate, revealing and vulnerable, if we are with people we don’t know well or who are not safe to us, then feeling uncomfortable revealing deep emotion does make sense.  Or, when tears come on unexpectedly and we don’t entirely know why we are crying, it feels vulnerable, like emotional nakedness.  But it is not shameful, as though there is something wrong with us.  Quite the opposite, tears are a sign of something right within us.  Life.  The life of God, in whose image we are created.

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